the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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