dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize