There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
