C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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