in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
