I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
