this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
