I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
