We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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