i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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