You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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