Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
