Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
