I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
