is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
