I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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