3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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