i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
