we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
