so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have feelings that need drinking.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
