omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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