u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
