I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
