On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
