if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
