I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
