so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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