that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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