he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
