Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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