You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
