Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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