My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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