DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize