I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
