maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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