What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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