four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
