Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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