This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
