Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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