she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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