its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
