DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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