Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
