WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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