when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize