And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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