hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
