Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
