Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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