dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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