A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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