Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
