Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
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omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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