Me too!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
