the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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