Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
