He is an equal opportunity slut.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
